Friday, December 24, 2010

I once had a wolf by the ears.

One year ago, these were my circumstances.

I was doing meaningless work, wearing gray office clothes, carrying on through budgets and spreadsheets, forgetting how to write well or think critically. Moreover, the girl who once painted and created and saw incredible beauty in the green glass of a Peroni bottle on a sunny patio was exhausted. My lights were fading. Going to the gym and attending church provided surges of endorphins and peace (respectively), but not in satisfactory amounts.

And I felt trapped.

So I took on freelance work from different organizations to wiggle my way out. A magazine here, a marketing website there... and then began the communications for campaigns. There was nothing more important to me than electing Republican leadership in 2010. I took on boat loads. Even though I was staying up all night to work before going to my day job, I was alive again. I used vacation time to attend conferences and burned both ends of my candle... with joy. Falling asleep at my desk, but alive. As soon as I was given the chance, I gladly put a few dresses in my car and joined a campaign. Finally, I was doing meaningful work.

That first scary step to many may have seemed a huge mistake, but it has put me where I am today.

It's been an odd journey. Unorthodox. Scary at times, but worth every moment.

And I've landed jam-side-up.

I remember walking timidly into my first blogger briefing at Heritage and sitting across from Tabitha. She looked at me, shocked and confused, and laughed, "what are YOU doing here?" I knew from that day forward that she would be my best friend here. And she is.

She, Sarah, and I can move into our house on the 15th of January. It's going to be a house with love on the walls and joy in between them. I predict dinner parties with copious laughter and Saturday mornings with pancake flipping contests. We will walk for coffee at the shop on the corner and make friends with our neighbors. Friends from out of town can sleep on my couch and I will play tourist with them.

So I once had a wolf by the ears... and letting go was just the first in a series of really, really good decisions.