Did you think I was kidding? No, seriously, the cake was gloriously ugly.
Also not lying about the golden retriever. After we surprised Allison, Caroline and I went out front and started rambling about how we should have borrowed a dog for her birthday since she's absolutely more obsessed with dogs than we are (which is saying a lot).
Then a guy walked by with the above dog and I said, "excuse me, sir..."
He stayed long enough to drink a stella while we literally rolled around on the floor with the darling.
So yeah, I know how to throw a party.
Also—TWENTY EIGHT DAYS, Y'ALL!!!
Don't worry, America—the ladies of CRAFT are on the case.